Judging Others

Why do we judge others when we don’t have receipts? How do we feel when we have been proven wrong and thought we knew everything about someone but knew nothing at all? What I know for certain, is that I don’t know enough about anything, except that there is a God who has sustained me through the years.

This anecdote is about a young woman I wrongfully judged and who did the same to me. We met on the job as administrative assistants. First, our eyes met, and I saw a cold stare. I thought she looked mean and would act mean towards me. Later, according to her, she thought I would be like someone she had met from a certain country, and with whom she had a negative experience.

A Pleasant Reaction

The following day, which was my first full day working on the job, I went to her with as much cheer as I could muster, while hoping it would reflect on my face. “Good morning!” I said.

“Good morning,” she replied. Her face was set with an ultra-serious expression.

I was actually hesitant to continue the conversation, but I pushed forward. “Would you please show me how the computer system here works?” I asked.

“Yes,” she replied and came over to my desk. Her expression was still serious, and I thought she was the most unfriendly potential coworker I had ever met. But she took her time and spent about half an hour showing me the ropes and giving me the templates for memos and highlights. I was grateful. I would not have guessed she had it in her to help a new hire so selflessly. In addition, she escorted me to the pantry, and then pointed me in the direction of the ladies’ room.

Becoming Fast Friends

We soon became fast friends. We went out to lunch, often. We both liked that cold rice dish she called rice pudding that I knew to be rice porridge. We also liked that corn meal cake she called cornbread and that I knew to be corn meal pudding. We even shared the same religion!  After many years, we’re still good friends. Her children call me “Aunt,” and my children call her “Aunt.” We still get a good laugh at how we misjudged each other back on the day we first met.

When I asked her why she changed her opinion of me, she told me, “It was your approach. It reminded me of how my grandmother raised me, and I let my guard down with you.” Then she asked me what made me change my opinion of her.

“You selflessly showed me the ropes, accompanied me to the water cooler, pointed me in the direction of the ladies’ room, and invited me to lunch,” I replied. Then we shared a hearty laugh.

Life Lesson

We sometimes think we’re in someone else’s head,   but that person could be thinking clean thoughts. Another could think you envy him or her when it is not true, but that’s uniquely his or her imagination.

The lesson I learned from this friendship is I should not judge because I could be wrong.